Feature / What a language

In 1995 Dick Clarke, president and chief executive officer of US HFMA since 1986, reflected on the UK and US associations’ common bond – the English language

Writing papers or reports is not something most healthcare financial managers relish. I know, because each month it is an effort for me to identify a topic and write 700 words of text about it for my column. Writing takes discipline and organisation; it also requires a reasonable command of the English language. And that is a challenge.

Comedian George Carlin and others often poke fun at the English language because it is an odd language. It is the most widely used language in the world, with approximately 15% of the world’s population speaking it. More than half the world’s books are published in English. And English has the largest vocabulary – more than a million words. It is no wonder the language is a challenge for all of us.

But as Mr Carlin and others point out, English has its quirks. For example, there is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger. Pineapples contain neither apples nor pine. English muffins were not invented in England, and French fries were not invented in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which are not sweet, are meat. And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

English is also full of paradoxes. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, noses run and feet smell. We ship by truck, but send cargo by ship. And in what other language would a person in one instance recite a play, and in another play at a recital?

Other examples of the absurdity of the English language are that a person can make amends, but cannot make one amend and that you can comb through the annals of history, but not through a single annal. If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one, what do you call what is left?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are the same? When the stars are out they are visible, but when a light is out, it is not visible. And an alarm clock goes off by going on.

The English language also is notable for identifying things by what they lack. For example, we have horseless but not horseful carriages and strapless but not strapful gowns. Normally we do not refer to people who are combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable. And a sung hero does not appear in the language. Finally, if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

We also abuse the language. If the word right is absolute, why do we insist on saying exactly right? Although you can make a complete stop, how can you make an incomplete stop? Can you really get on a plane at any time other than before it takes off?

But should the challenges of the language keep us from writing for chapter newsletter, HFM or other publications? I think not.

Given the rapidly changing healthcare scene, it is vital for us all to express our opinions and share our experiences with our colleagues.

As healthcare professionals, we have an obligation to promote a greater understanding of financial management issues by others in the healthcare field. And by adding our knowledge to that of others, we increase the knowledge base of all healthcare professionals, which can improve the overall management of health services.

I hope we also can have a little fun with our writing. So, although I may wind up my watch to make it go, when I wind up this column, I end it.